The Fear That Silenced Me

Lots of people claim the title of “introvert”; I was more than that.  My mother used to parade me down Main Street with a pocket full of quarters, trying to incentivize me to say “hello” to strangers on the street for the price of 25 cents.  It didn’t work.  I was that kid who had to be friends with the extroverts who could be my voice because I wouldn’t use my own.  I could know for a fact I knew the answer to a problem in school, yet I’d never raise my hand.  It’s kind of debilitating to live like that.  But I was used to it.

The TED Talk That Changed Everything

I was 15 my parents began a nightly tradition of watching a TED talk together as a family over dinner.  One night as I scrolled through TED talk videos on YouTube, one caught my attention, titled “What I learned from 100 days of rejection”.

This video changed the trajectory of my life as I knew it.

I rewatched that video twice that night.  It spoke to me in a way that truly changed my outlook on life.  That was the night that my fear of rejection left me.  I started sending cold emails to restaurants that very evening.  We had been living very frugally while traveling around Europe at this point, and being the ever foodie I am, I desperately craved a restaurant experience in the heart of Spain.  I sent out 200 cold emails with my heart pounding.

I received 199 ‘no’s or none responses.  But then something crazy happened, someone responded and agreed to host my family and me at their restaurant in exchange for a review on our blogs.  I couldn’t believe it.

One of the first restaurant reviews at age 15

Now I’m sure that restaurateur was not expecting the blogger reaching out to have been a 15 year old girl, but he handled it with grace and compassion, along with a delicious meal that could have brought tears to my eyes.

How Rejection Lost Its Power On Me

I still remember the feeling of elation as we walked out of the door at the end of our lunch.  I knew I’d never be afraid of a ‘no’ again.  It was like this heavy weight that I’d always balanced on my shoulders was…just lifted.  I felt like I could fly, I was unchained from the fear of rejection.  And here’s the thing about that: once that fear has been severed, you can’t be tethered by it again.

Thanks to Jia Jiang I’ve now gotten to a point where I have the honor of reviewing Michelin star restaurants.  I’ve had experiences I couldn’t have dreamed of, all because I was no longer afraid of the word ‘no’.

I challenge everyone to take the leap and push yourself to be brave.  What’s the worst that could happen?  They tell you ‘no’?  Okay, that’s fine because until you ask or take the step, that’s where you are already.  Be brave, you never know what could happen.